Billy the Bus Driver was first released in ‘Ačiu’ and first published in ‘Ta!‘ and latterly published in MP3 format at Blackmail Press 30, ‘Bipolarisation’. [ISSN 1176-4791], New Zealand, 2011

Click here to listen to the MP3 version.

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Billy the Bus Driver

He was a big man (I think).
He drove a big bus (well not really).
But he was an important man, because he drove the bus.
He drove it to the ocean in the far south.
And he drove it to the ocean in the far north.
He drove it to the ocean in the far east and west,
He drove his bus all over Arran.

He was short and stocky, in fact maybe just squat.
He was good at what he does, but other than that he was pretty useless.
But he was at the top of the pecking order among his peers.
He was also tough and stubborn and would take on
people much bigger than himself.
And today he had the bus driver in his sights.

He was just enjoying his day, driving his bus over the humps
and around the corners.
He had no idea that the enemy was waiting for him.
He was just enjoying his day.

He waddled his short and stocky body into position.
And there he sat waiting for his quarry,
Just over a small hump where he couldn’t be seen.
He was ready – ready and waiting,
Eyeballing the road ahead.

He was driving south with the ocean at his right.
The sun was high in the sky.
In front of him was a little hump, beyond that he couldn’t see the road.
All was well, this was a good day.

The sun was high and hot behind that hump.
His short stocky body was breaking into a sweat.
Then he went all tense, he heard the bus coming.
There he waited, squat and strong, for the bus to appear on top of the hump.

All was well as the bus bounced over the hump.
The sun was shining, a beautiful day.
He was an important man because he was the bus driver.
But suddenly his eyes dilated and his nostrils flared.
His right foot instinctively hit the brakes.
The bus shuddered to a halt, throwing his passengers around.

Short and stocky he held his place in the middle of the road.
Adrenalin pumping, he eyeballed the bus driver.
Seemingly fearless he stood his ground.

The bus door violently flung open.
The bus driver lurched out of his creaking seat.
He thundered towards the door.
He leaned out of the door and said: ” Quack quack get out the bloody way”.

The short and stocky duck gave a rather contented look
And waddled off towards the ocean.

But he will go down in history.
As the duck at the top of the pecking order,
Who played chicken with a bus on the west coast of Arran and won.

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Thank you so much for reading ‘out for lunch’. If you would like to contribute, please do. Thanks Kel.